This is wonderful, Dutch. Everything you say about yourself matches us too. We need to change! NOW before it's too late. Will we? I don't know. But we'll definitely share this post.
P.S. We remember our own Dad returning home from a job he may not have liked much selling real estate and managing property. But we didn't care what he did at work that day. We were delighted he was home. We also ran at him, arms outstretched to give him a giant hug while yelling "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Remembering those days with gratitude for HIS presence in our lives, gratitude that remains so long after he passed away.
We didn't care what Dad did for a living either. Our parents struggled financially to raise 3 kids, but Mom stayed home until we could mostly fend for ourselves.
We didn't have fancy stuff or lots of toys growing up, though our parents sacrificed for music lessons and educational summer camps. Most vacations were car trips. They attended all our school events. They raised us to be honest and work hard, and to treat everyone fairly and with respect. A house cleaner was as important and worthy as a rich art collector. They weren't perfect, but they did their best.
Beautiful, Dutch…I too run the race, stack too much on my plate, am never done, always on, always thinking…I can’t stop it. I know, I tried. But one thing I realized several years ago, kids don’t have a “normal.” Because they don’t think in historical terms or consciously recognize behavior patterns, they accept whatever it is as their normal. They don’t have expectations, at least not in a transactional sense. They expect you to be happy to see them, to be kind, strong, fair, warm and loving. They don’t know what too little is, or too much. To them, if you’re present when you can be, you’re always, just right.
Perfect. I tend to live “what can I do today, so I won’t have to do it tomorrow?”- yet it never ends, and I can’t enjoy present life for worrying about “ tomorrow “- which may never come!
This is wonderful, Dutch. Everything you say about yourself matches us too. We need to change! NOW before it's too late. Will we? I don't know. But we'll definitely share this post.
P.S. We remember our own Dad returning home from a job he may not have liked much selling real estate and managing property. But we didn't care what he did at work that day. We were delighted he was home. We also ran at him, arms outstretched to give him a giant hug while yelling "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Remembering those days with gratitude for HIS presence in our lives, gratitude that remains so long after he passed away.
Update: We posted a note about your article here: https://substack.com/@bige47/note/c-231507191
Yes! And we didn’t care what he did for a living. He came home and we wanted to play and hang out.
We didn't care what Dad did for a living either. Our parents struggled financially to raise 3 kids, but Mom stayed home until we could mostly fend for ourselves.
We didn't have fancy stuff or lots of toys growing up, though our parents sacrificed for music lessons and educational summer camps. Most vacations were car trips. They attended all our school events. They raised us to be honest and work hard, and to treat everyone fairly and with respect. A house cleaner was as important and worthy as a rich art collector. They weren't perfect, but they did their best.
Beautiful, Dutch…I too run the race, stack too much on my plate, am never done, always on, always thinking…I can’t stop it. I know, I tried. But one thing I realized several years ago, kids don’t have a “normal.” Because they don’t think in historical terms or consciously recognize behavior patterns, they accept whatever it is as their normal. They don’t have expectations, at least not in a transactional sense. They expect you to be happy to see them, to be kind, strong, fair, warm and loving. They don’t know what too little is, or too much. To them, if you’re present when you can be, you’re always, just right.
💯🎯
Perfect. I tend to live “what can I do today, so I won’t have to do it tomorrow?”- yet it never ends, and I can’t enjoy present life for worrying about “ tomorrow “- which may never come!
This was beautiful. I just sent it to our young adult daughter. Thank you, Dutch.
Thank you for letting me know! The kiddos love their books!